Genevieve
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You can't say Froglicker in front of Jesus!
2001-05-03 - 1:41 p.m.

No more drinking stories for a while now, okay. Really it is all for the best. The one time I went to Mardi Gras I recount as the most fun five days I'll never remember.

So, Mel is back from Bangkok and Rob is back from Finland, as of Sunday, so on Monday night we head out to the Outback Steakhouse for dinner. Mel of course needs a view of the TV since the hockey game is on. So, at one time in the conversation of the evening we get talking about Gen-world, and what a cool place it is. You see, I am one of the best of the escapists. Whenever Wayne gets in grumpy Wayne mode, and others just wanna tell him to calm the fuck down, Gen just stares off into space and goes to Gen-World until he comes back of his own volition. It works for me, honest. Folks are fighting around me, Gen-world. Boring lecture, Gen-world. I survived almost 40 hours in a car with folks this way, it works. So we were talking about Gen-world and what kind of place it is. I say that it has a purple sky and flowers blooming everywhere and frolicking unicorns. It really is a pleasant place, honest. So, then Mel turns to Wendy and says: I'm sorry, did she just say FROGLICKING Unicorns? Apparently, frolicking is not one of those words you should say when you have a sore throat and a scratchy voice that tends to crack. Froglicking indeed. So, now there is this thing about froglicking unicorns and that the frogs are the special Florida frogs that you can get high off of and all the unicorns are stoned. So last night at the play, Patrick hears this story and says: Hey, I wanna be a unicorn! and I promptly reply that there is no way there would let him near any virgins, and the folks around us at the play are thinking of seeing if they can move their seats for next season...

You can't say Froglicker in front of Jesus! Froglicker! -I think I've seen one too many South Park episodes.

So, the play. The play we saw last night was one of Shakespeare's earliest plays, The Two Gentlemen of Verona. Do you remember from the movie Shakespeare in Love where they say that all the people want is Comedy and a bit with a Dog. Well, that is what this play is all about. It's not that smooth or well writ, but it does give the actors a bit more freedom to play it up as they choose and these actors choose well.

The plot: We've all heard it before. From the Shakespeare Theater's website:

Hardly gentlemen, friends Valentine and Proteus are rivals in love, competing for the beautiful Silvia�s favors while Julia, Proteus� forgotten lover, hopes to win back the man of her dreams. As Valentine and Proteus play out their misguided games of courtly love, their servants Speed and Launce test their own mettle in a hilarious battle of wits. This comic tale of wandering hearts captured by an intelligent woman is one of Shakespeare�s most romantic comedies.

So, they set it in 1950's Italy. It was sort of like The Talented Mr. Ripley meets Roman Holiday but with Sopranos overtones. The leading lady, Silva, was a Marilyn Monroe-esque model with a great Italian accent, and the daughter of the Doge of Milan. The boys, were well, sons of important guys, funded by their fathers to go to Milan and find fortune or something. And they had these great servants, read sidekicks, that were absolutely hilarious. We were in stitches most of the time. Instead of the audience applauding at the end of the first two Acts and the End, we applauded at the end of each scene. There were times when I had to cover my mouth to stifle the laughter.

There was this one scene where the two servants were meeting and talking about a Milk Maid that Launce, Proteus's man is in love with. For this they had a prop of a 1950's Playboy magazine and they talked of her wonderous virtues. Launce, played by Floyd King, one great acting genius in DC, had the actor playing Speed cracking up so hard on stage that we had to pause for a moment of laughter, I think he adlibbed a bit too much. When they got to the fact that one of her virtues was that she had no teeth, and Launce's look was priceless and he said, "Yeah, she has no teeth!" we all died, and that was the end of that. Wendy leans over and tells me that "This is so Wayne's kind of Shakespeare." And it was. Of course Wendy and I started talking about the Costuming on the drive back, as we are likely to do, and noticing that a bunch of the ensemble cast playing the Doge's followers were all wearing their hair slicked back, Ray Ban sunglasses and they must have raided Bob's closet for these great tacky and bright Hawaiian shirts. Also, the dresses were stunningly made, such that the stripes on one outfit matched up perfectly and the bodice of the dress was constructed such that the stripes also matched up to form a V emphasizing the cleavage.

If you like Shakespeare and want to see this play, which I highly encourage, it is playing until May 20th and tickets range from $20-$60 depending on the night and seating in the theater. I think there are very few bad seats in the theater though. This is also the same company that does the annual Free for All in the Summer. Sadly this year's free play is King Lear from last season, which was good, but not exactly a feel good summer play. In the past they have done All's Well that Ends Well, Merry Wives of Windsor and Merchant of Venice and other pretty cool ones. Hopefully next summer they will do this play as the free one. One can hope!

So, Gen was actually wearing girl clothes yesterday. Shane was dutifully following four paces behind me when we went up to get breakfast in the morning. Yes, I have pretty great legs, I know, and I'm humble too. But, by the time I get to Wendy's house I'm tired of wearing girls clothes. I storm in and say in a very frustrated tone: Girls clothes don't have pockets! So, needless to say, in rebellion of wearing girl clothes yesterday, I'm wearing my overalls and a t-shirt today. I'm all about some extremes.

I think I've wasted enough of my day. I'm hoping that Wendy will send me the tale about the Big Guy names Peanut soon. I could use a good laugh.

Oh yeah, Word of the Day!

nonplus ahn-PLUS, transitive verb: To cause to be at a loss as to what to think, say, or do; to confound; to perplex.

Example: I completely nonplussed Mel with the froglicker comment that she snapped away from watching the hockey game. Or, Every now and then we nonplus our guy friends with innuendo of lesbian kissing. Oh yeah, what a good word.

Peace out!

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