Genevieve
	Waking	Sleeping	Sign	Repose	Wish
	The gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam...

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The Importance of being Earnest
2001-01-24 - 21:34:32

Who's this Earnest guy?

So, occasionally it is good to be honest. You learn more. Y'see I've been thinking on and off about a subject for a while, but being basically non-confrontational, I'm bad about approaching some people with stuff. Especially when it is none of my business.

While I love being a social butterfly, I think I am naturally an observer, often a chameleon. All throughout high school and most of college and even my first few SCA events, I watched. Often I'll listen because it is less obtrusive and obvious, but I naturally eaves drop, naturally am intrigued by stuff that isn't my business, naturally I watch. I think it started when I was a kid in elementary school bussed to the other side of town to even out the racial numbers. I didn't really know anyone on the bus and it was a long ride. I didn't have a walkman, so often I would hold a book in front of my face like I was reading, and listen and watch. This could be why it takes me forever to get through novels, since I am used to distractions, I have to read passages over and over again.

So, I often hear and observe stuff that the rest of the world misses, and usually is not meant for the rest of the world. If I butted in all the time, this would be known as a "busybody". Since I don't want to be a busybody, I usually just file away information for future reference, or try to forget it. This also taught me to be non-confrontational so that I don't become a busybody. I hate busybodies.

I thought briefly about going into the field of Psychology, but my intro to psyche course was after lunch so I slept through much of it and got a C. It seemed like a natural thing to take up since my friends in high school always seemed to come to me with their problems. Maybe I was the only person who appeared non-crazy. My, how times have changed, now everyone thinks I'm just plain nuts.

So, recently I have acted upon some of my observations, and for a while felt bad about it, but maybe it is ending up okay in the end. I think on the whole it was all for the best for me to be a busybody in this one instance, but hope not to make a practice of it. Although, it may not hurt me to be a bit more confrontational, as long as I'm not a big ole bitch about stuff. Sometimes it is just easier to pretend not to notice. Smile and go to the happy place in la la land.

Usually when I do act on my observations, it is to protect someone I love. I have been known to say "Hurt her again/ever and you'll regret it." I usually don't care if folks slander me, are mean to me, or otherwise try to hurt me, but if you hurt one of my friends, watch out 'cause I'm hell to deal with. I think in this case it is true as well, except the person I love needed protecting from themself not others. It's hard to tell someone that they need to open their eyes and pay more attention, that the mistakes of the past don't need to be repeated now, that it is never too late to live the way you want to.

Did any of this post make sense? I'm not sure.
Oh well, I found my first gray/white hair today. :) I'm only 25.

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