Genevieve
	Waking	Sleeping	Sign	Repose	Wish
	The gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam...

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faith
2002-06-18 - 4:47 p.m.

Nothing much really to say, but that the concept of marriage weighing sometimes heavily on my mind. I responded to a friend with the following today:

I understand that there are many folks who have a cynical view of marriage lately, and in many ways I can sympathize. It does have a high rate of failure. Folks do tend to change drastically once the rings are exchanged, even though they promised not too. I've not witnessed one myself, but I've heard of weddings where everyone in the pews were internally screaming "No!" Then again, I've a friend who's grandparents just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary, and even their daughter says it was 49 years too long. But with all of the negativity, all of the cynicism, the myriad of things that can go wrong, I can't help but try. I love him so much, and he loves me and if we didn't try it would be worse than failing in the end. All we can hope for is that we can both grow and change together, and try to make it work, and know what brought us here in the first place.

And I won't say that my wedding was the happiest day of my life. I think realizing I loved Alan was the happiest day, and knowing from that day that we'd do all right. The wedding day itself was merely a really cool and fun party, where I got to see family and friends and have a good time. The cake, the flowers, the dress, all of that was nice accessories, but doesn't matter as much as the friendship and love I felt that day, from Alan and from my friends and family who could attend. And that is the outlook that I choose to take.

It reminds me a bunch of a quote, oddly enough from the movie Runaway Bride. I know, it's sad, so shoot me, I'm a sap.

Look, I guarantee that we'll have tough times. And I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us will want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine I'll regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart, you're the only one for me.

Maybe despite my avoidance of Casinos, I really am a betting girl. 50/50 odds.

Maybe I can't help but hope that while failed marriages abound, mine won't end that way. You gotta have faith baby.

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